Difference is worth honouring, worth not judging, worth accepting.
It doesn’t always bring a sense of equality, almost never actually. Difference means you sometimes stand outside. Outside the norm, outside conservatism and on the edge. You exist, most often, in a community of other different people. People that accept you and love you with all of your differences. As I’ve grown older it has offered me some freedom. I don’t think I would ever be comfortable being introduced as someones wife. Of course I want a sense of belonging, to know that there is a “we”, that we walk together, that we have union of love and respect.That you’ve got my back. I sometimes wonder whether marriage should happen at the end of a say 20yrs of the journey of relationship. Kind of like earning the stripes but yeah, I wouldn’t have made that either.
…..And it should be for any person. Absolutely any person who loves another. By law and by love, no less. I’m up for a party to say, I’m in love and I want to shout it out with celebration and joy….. If someone wants marriage then I’m happy for you, I want it, if you want it. Fuck, I’ll even sing at your wedding, if I haven’t already and I’ll even sing at your second wedding.
I wonder what I’d do if anyone asked me. I have asked…fail. Maybe I’d say Yes, perhaps I’ll never know. That I have that right when others don’t is wrong on all counts. I have a privilege that others don’t and thats wrong.
Very early on I knew I was different, everybody told me ( I never believed them) and every time I tried to be the same, I failed. Still failing. Not just in my eyes, through everyone who’s judging, and they do…….
Celebrate the difference and don’t let others and society push you into the box unless thats what you truly want and if it is then by rights you should have that! You’ve got my support.
Some of us are never going to fit….. because it doesn’t fit us.
In the eyes of the law we should all be equal.
Sometimes difference is the only freedom.
painting from The Louvre.
The Blessed Ranieri delivers the poor from the prison of Florence
Stefano di Giovanni